My mother is an anxious woman. I suspect she is 74th generation anxious and she has done a mighty fine job of passing it on to the next two generations at least.
As she ages, my mother becomes more anxious. She worries that she will get wet, that she might get cold, that she will run out of milk. So we have stopped telling her some things. FOR HER OWN SAKE, we say.
We lie to protect Mum from her own fears and anxieties, so that is ok, right? My real fear is that now, some 52 years from the womb, that I may develop a propensity to lie to my one surviving parent. Not that I had a plethora of parents to lie to previously, just the two, but Dad couldn’t even remember my age when I was growing up, so lying would never have been needed with him anyway. And towards the end he couldn’t even remember me at all so that kind of swept the slate clean!
This is a side of caring for oldies that no one ever warns you about, a bit like when you give birth no one warns you that you will have to teach them to drive and allow them to take the family car one day. When your parents age sometimes you have to lie to keep them happy.
I am not good at lying. I am ok at the old “of course you look fine in that god awful dress” lie. That is being polite. The other stuff, lying about the fact that your child hasn’t visited Grandma for a couple weeks because in fact they are out of the country, that is a little harder. And remembering the lie to keep the farce going is a bit of a long order too. My daughters have told me that they will teach me the tricks. Apparently they have it down pat. As I am the mother they must have been lying to all this time, I am not sure how I should take that little bit of information.
Maybe I will ask them to lie about their lying just to keep me calm and happy too. Ignorance is indeed parental bliss.
Life Lesson 947: It is alright to lie to your mother if it will save her suffering, and you can hide your tracks.
And if I am not struck by a bolt of heavenly lighting today I may be back tomorrow with another life lesson.