I love my job, in case you haven’t noticed yet. 2012 has been such a turn around from 2011, and not a day goes by that I don’t remind myself how fortunate I am, and to send another wish into the cosmos that the bubble doesn’t burst any time soon; or preferably ever.
When I took the decision to go back to university and become a teacher in late 2008, so late in 2008 that it was Boxing Day 2008, just days away from the close of applications for a January 16th start, I had no idea what would happen. I just knew that it was my last chance to change careers. Time was ticking away and the window of opportunity doesn’t stay open for long after a person hits the age of fifty.
So, how does that fit with my 2012 resolutions? Well, for one it shows that being active in my own life really works, and though actions don’t always bear fruit in the beginning, if you just keep working at it, often if only to take two steps forward and one and a quarter back, just to keep that goal in sight and eventually there will be some pay off.
Every day, now, I get to go to a workplace I have grown to like in a very short time, to a role that I absolutely adore. Not that I wouldn’t give it up in an instant if someone offered me the possibility to retire in comfort, but that is not an option, and in the meantime I am in a worker’s paradise!
My fear is that one morning I will wake up and find that the carnival has moved on without me.
The last couple of years has shown me that things can go sour very, very quickly, and without reason. Sanity does take a holiday from time to time. As a result fear and anxiety sneak in the back door when I am not looking, despite my efforts, and I need to let go of fearful thoughts that cripple and just trust my instincts and go for it. So, that is an aspect of “change”, my first resolution for 2012, that still needs work.
Fear only binds us to old ways, and bad habits. Letting go of fear, trusting myself and my abilities to be enough is an end goal, and I have worked on it really hard this past week. Now, when those negative thoughts come oozing through the cracks, I just acknowledge them, decide what is within my control and what isn’t and then let them go. If it is out of my control, why waste precious energy on it? That is what I have learnt this year and worked on this week.
Strangely, it actually gifted me a sense of empowerment, for now, instead of wasting time and energy on hopeless endeavours trying to control everything, I can concentrate my efforts on the things in my life I can control, and the redirected time and energy go into the realm of influence I do have, and I am more at peace with my tasks, and so much more productive and creative.
In fact, I heartily recommend the method: can I control this? No, then let it go. Yes, then what am I going to do about it? It really is as easy at that. Just ask yourself the question – what can I control?