Mr FD thinks he is very funny. A few years ago we were discussing buying a new car, and for some reason he started talking about a yellow car. “Eminently practical” he declared, “A good safety colour”.
“In your dreams, ” I replied.
So we roll up for the demo drive and the salesman rolls out a yellow demo car. Ha Ha, Mr FD, you are so funny. Just by chance there had been a yellow car on the lot and so he had arranged for it to be presented on the day. We bought neither that make, or colour in the end. Note to salesmen, don’t side with Mr FD.
Today, he had an appointment to get new eye glasses. He has two eyes, so I don’t listen to his moaning about blurry vision very often, and I didn’t this time either, until I received an email at school asking if I had the health care card. He needed it to access the rebate on new glasses.
For weeks, ever since we changed health funds I have been “reminding” him to request a second card, which he finally did, two days ago! So, our only card in my purse, I had to run out between classes, wait ten minutes in 35C heat on the street, as he was ten minutes late and hand him the card.
I was already home when he returned, sporting the worst pair of grandpa eye glasses I have ever seen. I thought I would be diplomatic, but I failed I just gaped and then burst out laughing. Big, thick bifocals. He acted so proud, but I started to suspect something was afoot when he didn’t get a little annoyed at my laughter, for usually when I ridicule his choice, which is almost daily, he gets a little, shall we say, annoyed. Not that his reaction stops me in anyway. Bad taste has its own punishment.
Also, no one gets a pair of glasses delivered in one afternoon. In the end, he admitted that he had enlisted the optometrist in his evil plan. They had given him a pair of glasses that were designated for charity (you know, you donate your old glasses to be sent to some third world country. I always donate mine and wonder if some poor two eyed person winds up with them wondering why the lens in one side is so dodgy) so that he could stir me a little (stirring the lizard, Mr FD calls it).
Mr FD has dreadful taste in clothing fashions, and all manner of things and I usually don’t trust him out alone, so for a few minutes I did think what a waste of money as those glasses are going right back to the store, but there you go, ha ha ha, big joke.
Anyone want him?
P.S. The glasses will be going back to the charity box, but they are so ugly I am not sure that is doing anyone a service.