déjeuner pour deux, and a side of narcissism

pink suit

Lunched with my dearest friend, Sandpit Girl yesterday (so named for we met in the sandpit at kindergarten – and yes that was a very long time ago). Usually we lunch with one or two high school friends, but this day it was just we two. It was lovely, sitting in the restaurant courtyard in the warm winter sun. We both settled on large bowls of potato and capsicum soup – not sweet potato but white potatoes. The soup was served in large wide bowls and the potato soup was on one side of the bowl and the capsicum on the other, and sprinkled with herbs and paprika. I should have taken a photo to share but I was having too much fun to think of you…but the dish kinda sorta looked like this, only more elegant.


A glass of white, great company and two hours had passed before we called for coffee. Perfection.

A mutual friend has been having issues with her 29 year old recently married daughter. They decided to have family counselling, along with friend’s husband. Daughter arrived with a long list of grievances about how her parents had been the worst parents in the world. Now no one claims to be a perfect parent, but I have known friend since the age of 13, and I know she fought hard to have her one and only child, loved her passionately, gave her everything they could, which was pretty much everything and still do, and honestly they did their best, so all are surprised by daughter’s insistence on her parents faults.

After daughter had left the session, friend’s husband tried to soothe his wife by saying “Don’t worry dear, she will get over it” to which the counsellor replied, “I used to think that too, but with that narcissistic generation I fear not…”

Have we created a monster generation?

10 thoughts on “déjeuner pour deux, and a side of narcissism

  1. Ugh. I hate hearing about people like that. But, I can proudly say that my own kids are very selfless, kind, considerate and would never DARE to claim that they had not been raised perfectly.

    Well, my daughter is kind and considerate unless one is an idiot and then she is apt to let them know.


  2. It really depends on the children, and yes, the parents. I think the Millennial Generation has been unfairly tarred by the pop media brush. I’ve seen some spectacular examples of narcissistic, selfish, overgrown brats, but I’ve also encountered many examples of selfless, hard-working young people. At the homeless community dinners I’ve volunteered at, most of the people staffing the serving lines and preparing the food are teens and 20-somethings.

    My own children have had their moments, but they’ve learned quickly that life isn’t going to give them everything they want. Working in minimum-wage jobs has helped that—when you wait on tables or do clerical work in an office, humility comes fast. (If not, you’re shown the door equally fast.) My sense is that the more the child has been sheltered from the challenges of life, the more entitled they believe they are: so we are guilty in that regard, however sincere we were in wanting to give our kids the advantages we didn’t have.


  3. In some ways yes we have, too much of everything and far too soon. I am guilty of giving what I could to both my daughters. Their father and I separated years ago and this was my way I guess, of providing and filling the gap that was in their lives. This generation seems to blame too easily those that have given, shown support and love in whatever way they could. They are more narcissistic, I feel. If life doesn’t turn to plan, the blame gets put onto anyone else and never their fault for the problem.


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