Flamingo Dancer has a little husband who drove her to school one day and he broke all the rules.

woman car

Thirty six hours later and I am still annoyed.

Mr FD was to drive me to work as we had a joint after school appointment and we didn’t want to leave my car parked at the school after all the rock throwing silliness of last week.

First I told him we absolutely must leave by 6.30. We left at 6.45.

Mr FD decided that Augie Dog should have a drive. Augie Dog has never had more than a ten minute drive in the car, so am 80 minute round trip was a new experience. It took some time for Augie to realise that if he sat, or lied down he had more stability, so we had to drive a little slower than usual. We also had to stop to close the rear door of our 4WD as Mr FD had not closed it correctly and there was a danger of a 40kg dog flying out the back of the car. Hmmmm.

dog car

Mr FD decided to take the back road, rather than the highway route I normally take. Quieter road, but more corners and worse roads. And Augie.

As we neared School Town, Mr FD announces that he doesn’t really know the best route through the city to the school. As I always approach from the opposite end of town and only have to slip of the highway and stop as one set of lights before arriving at the school, I didn’t know either.

My suggestion was that we follow the signs that read CITY CENTRE and follow the main road to the other side of the city. Logical. So Mr FD drives a little way and then spontaneously turns right, throwing his life to the wind.

Not long  afterwards I notice he touches behind his right ear which is a dead give away for “I am damn lost” and so I suggest he is a fool and to go back and follow the signs saying CITY CENTRE. He ignores me and appears to take yet another turn that has us heading almost back towards home!

It is then that I suggested that when one’s wife has to be at school at a certain time to open the library on a freezing morning for all those poor students early to school, it was 1. not a good time to start off late, 2. not a good time to bring the dog on his first long drive, and 3. not a good time to take a route one does not know. And did I mention, dear, that our new boss is starting today?

As we then appeared to be leaving all aspects of the city behind and were once again striking out to the rural area I suggested ways in which he might die. Did I mention that he stop and allow us to us the GPS, but he just kept circling? Yes, dear reader there was a very expensive GPS installed in our vehicle all this time.

I was not officially late but much much later than I normally am. As I entered the library, the head of IT said he thought I wasn’t coming and had called the Deputy Principal to see if I had called in sick, but he said I hadn’t and so they were both worried then. They were going to give me another 15 minutes before they panicked.

As I opened the library, I apologised to the students and told them, “it is a long story, but let me just say, it was my husband’s fault!”

Mr FD and Augie returned home, where they both went back to bed for a morning nap.

As I said, I am still annoyed.


9 thoughts on “Flamingo Dancer has a little husband who drove her to school one day and he broke all the rules.

  1. Oh no. I solved similar issues years ago by simply doing the driving when we both had to be somewhere. Yes, male ego had to take a hit for sense and sensibility. But we never were late again, never got lost, and he no longer had to deal with my wrath. It was a good decision.


  2. I would have used my stick on him, although we would have had to wait until the car wasn’t moving anymore. I wouldn’t want to end up in a ditch or head-on against a tree after all that.

    Why does Mr. FD get to go back to bed when you must work? I think that makes the story even more infuriating!


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