On a scale of one to ten, I would say my massage was about seven, maybe seven point five. She lost points because she talked the entire time, whereas I like to just be still and silent. I did think she could have used a little more pressure from time to time, but considering I was already in pain, I can understand her going gently.
The thing that really lowered my satisfaction rating was when she leaned close and said, “I have to say something now that you may not like to hear.”
I grunted, not sure where this was all going. It was too soon to declare undying love for me.
“The right shoulder is the masculine shoulder and to have pain in that area means you have anger at a male, or males.”
“Like my husband?”
“Well, the first name to mind is usually the right one.”
If the pain had been in my left shoulder, it would have meant I was angry at a female.
Nothing to do with the fact that I am right handed, and felt searing pain when I lifted my arm above my head to open windows? Nothing to do with the fact that I spend hours on end at a computer keyboard, and use a mouse? Oh no, I have to hate my husband. If it was true, it would be more males that make me angry than just Mr FD!
She continued with a long story about how she takes on her clients’ negative energies and after each massage has to go out and release the anger; or she becomes very aggro by the end of the day. I think she is inhaling too much of her lavender scent.
In a whispered voice she warned me that I may become testy, or impatient with people (yeah, what’s new there?) because of the release of lactic acid and old blood and I should warn those around me when I got home. The husband I supposedly hate, too, perhaps?
Later, I went to my doctor. His opinion is that I have either strained or torn the rotator cuff and is sending me to have a scan. I wonder if the man anger will show up?
I did tell Mr FD that he was causing my pain, and that I probably had medical grounds for getting off murder if I decided to do him in. “Same old, same old” was his only reply.
I punched him in the left shoulder. I’ll give him a female to be angry with…