Stick lists, vitriol and maleficence, life would be complete.


The stick list has a sibling. The stick list being the list of people that I am going to go around and hit on the last day. Its sibling is my retirement speech. The speech that you ruminate over for years, composing it with vitriol and maleficence. Naturally, when the time comes, you are so relieved to be leaving that you can’t be bothered saying it.

I am sure I will deliver it, stick in one hand, list in the other and hip flask in my pocket.

Not that anything terrible, horrible has happened. I was just in the shower, where all our best thoughts come from, and the image of someone I really, really, want to whammy came into my mind’s eye and I was off. Small man in big job, who is just one of the world’s shinning examples of a bastard.

Sigh, tomorrow is another day, but sadly it is not retirement day.

7 thoughts on “Stick lists, vitriol and maleficence, life would be complete.

  1. You disappeared. As President of the SW OK branch of your fan club, I was worried.

    I keep thinking of things I’ll say or do on my last day at work and then I think of two things.

    1. … The only Oscar acceptance speech I can remember verbatim was from Joe Pesce when he simply said “Thank you” and left the stage.
    2. … In reality I think the best way to “say” anything would be to just not show up for any retirement ceremony anyone was going to have – not that they’ll have one, because they don’t really care.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I don’t have a speech. My fantasy is always of clearing out my desk after hours and leaving my office badge on my boss’ desk, with or without an “i quit” note, and wondering about their reaction the next day.


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