You shouldn’t get to 50 to learn this …
Growing older is inevitable
Be open about your age. You don’t have to broadcast it via electronic media (ok, I may have) , but don’t deny your age either. You will still die on the day you die no matter if you pretend you are 42 and 3 months….. when you are 92.
Your teeth won’t fall out on the pillow over night – usually. However, look after them, as they need to be with you until the end!
You can get some great gifts on milestone birthdays – maybe it is the sympathy vote, who knows, or cares. Show other people how to do it with style. Plan a series of events, not just one party with a bang. Lots of smaller intimate events nourish the soul.
Thank anyone who acts surprised when they hear that you are turning 50. If it is a male thank him twice!
Lighten your hair color gradually. There is no worse give away than jet black hair on an aging dame. It makes one look older not younger. If your hair doesn’t start to grey, offer thanks to the god of genes!
Same goes for make-up and nail polish. We need style as we age not colour drama. Leave Technicolor nightmares to those that are still learning – and may they still enjoy.
Two wrongs don’t make a right.
Don’t give up your dreams and plans. You have at least 30 more years to achieve things, so plan what to do with them.
Go quietly sometimes. It refreshes and nourishes you
Be noisy sometimes. It refreshes and nourishes you.
Continue learning – something, anything. Get a degree, taking up whittling, or whistling or whatever takes your fancy but keep your interests alive.
Love the skin you are in. It has served you well. Eat well, drink plenty of water and moisturize. Cover up in the sun, use sunscreens and wear sunglasses and a hat outside – slip slop slap!
Don’t live through your children. Live beside your children.
Appreciate the partner you are with. Just that, appreciate the partner you are with.
Have regular massages. We have a home massage service, so I can burn my favorite oils, play my favorite music and not have traffic hassles afterwards, thus prolonging the mellow feelings. It is one of life’s little joys. Stops me from eating my young.
Learn to say “I don’t know”
Get a good hair cut. This is important no matter what age you are.
Don’t expect your partner to do all the work on anniversaries, or Valentine’s day. It is equal opportunity relationships now!
You will have to remember all his relatives’ birthdays and send Christmas cards to his friends. He may not even remember your birthday.
Plan your retirement. It is going to happen one day, make sure you get to do it the way that you would like to!
Make a will. Ensure the things that are important to you happen (the children go to your family, not his) and that sentimental or valuable things go to the people that you want them to.
Walk – go outside into the world.
Spend time with children
Find the name of a good physiotherapist and establish a relationship, so that when you wake up in the middle of the night and can’t move they will slot you into an early appointment.
Never underestimate the power of the gift of a single flower, or a telephone call to someone who is having a bad day. Ok, sms then!
Get eye glasses as soon as you need them. You don’t know what you are missing until you can see clearly again!
Let go of people who bring you no good. Care for the ones that do.
Remember other people’s birthdays – it is the one day THEY alone get to be special. Unless they are a twin or triplet, then remember all of them, invite them over for beer and pretzels!
Get flu vaccinations
Spend money on a good pillow and a good mattress. Lack of either can ruin your life.
Don’t a. ask a woman when she is going to have a baby, or b. ask a woman when her baby is due unless she is on the way to the hospital. Avoiding both can save you much embarrassment.
Learn to say no and mean it. Balance it with saying yes when it works for you.
Don’t be afraid to say “You have no right to speak to me that way” be it at home or work. Remember the same works the opposite way.
Treat people the way you would like to be treated yourself.
Don’t bitch about someone on the work email. Some people have been known to stupidly cc the subject in on the email and have to explain their opinion away as a brain fade or early senility (ok, ok I confess, it was me, so at least learn from my mistake and make my pain worthwhile!)
If you don’t know if it is his wife or his niece, speak in the abstract
If a family member leaves their partner, speak cautiously until the divorce is finalized and they have remarried, as they often reconcile and remember everything you said and nothing they said!
Some days you will get the good parking spot, some days you wont
There will be days when the upside will be rolling into the fetal position in a corner and humming to yourself between sobs.
Some days you will call your child by the incorrect name
No matter how much you love your pet, it will die one day. Often sooner than you expect.
Respect the old – they did it all before you!
Return things that you borrow.
Be thoughtful about whom you sleep with. You are worth it!
You will have more than one career in life. Some you will choose, some will choose you and some will be necessity. Eventually you will end up where you are meant to be.
Marriage is more than a ring and a wedding day. Think past the wedding day.
Laugh as much as you can. Laugh with others, not at them! Laugh alone. Enjoy your own private thoughts!
Blog – it brings the world too you, and opens the way for the most amazing people to enter your life.
copyright by the author [Flamingo Dancer] 2008.
28 thoughts on “Things learnt”
All wise words. Thanks for sharing.
You are welcome. I still feel the same two years on.
Hey FD, this was wonderful! I am over 50 and not ashamed to admit and so totally “got” all of this stuff. What a great list of things you have put together here!
Terrific list. I love the last one…learn to blog, it will bring the world to you. I’m just beginning to realize this…it’s not so much about bringing my story to the world, but discovering everyone else’s story. A great list. Thanks.
My world has been enriched so much since I started blogging (was on vox until moving here). I have such a different world view now. I am grateful for the friendship offered to me by so many complete strangers, people I will never meet. It has been a joy.
But trust me on the sunscreen….
I assume we will have too! LOL!
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What a treasure trove of wisdom and fun to read! 🙂
Magical list!… and thank you for your support over my way! A-M xx
That’s really thinking at an imisvrspee level
My daughter turns 50 tomorrow – but, I’m still 36. How did that happen? Love the list. Come by my place once in awhile. I still wished WP would allow marque code like VOX did, maybe someday.
heavens, you don’t look a day over 27!
There is some evidence that people who get an annual flu shot for four years in a row have multiplied their chance to get Alzheimer’s by ten times.
Other than that, nice list!
Well, I have been getting a flu needle every year from about 20 years, so I am a marked woman. My Dad never had a flu needle and he did develop Alzheimer’s. Who can tell!
It’s nice to read something I can relate to. New to blogging so I am having to rummage through tons of stuff but when you find a needle in the haystack it makes it worth the while.
How lovely, thank you! Welcome to the neighbourhood.
Thanks for visiting my blog Flamingo Dancer. I love your list!! Apart from the flu shot, that I had once and never again(after that shot I had a nasty flu for 8 weeks, 3 antibiotics and a run down body that took me months to recover), otherwise I agree with all of it.
Enjoyed your list and can totally relate! (Yes I’m over 50) 🙂
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I love this list. I love ‘Some days you will call your child by the incorrect name’ – Mum has done this to my brother and I several times and recently she called me ‘Doug’. There’s no Doug’s in the family.
But I especially love ‘Plan for your retirement.’ I’m 28 and I haven’t heard this advice at all, it’s something I thought of as logical only a couple of years ago. You would think with internet, it would be in your face all the time. But it isn’t.
Thank you – a life does teach you some things
You are so wise, o dancer of the flamingo. So very, very wise. Lucy
Yes I am, and I should be Queen of the World and we would all live in peace and happiness.
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Wow this was done sometime ago.. I may have read it before – in any case .. I certainly enjoyed it !
Thank u, i must say I go along with all your words of wisdom… Well done..