would you stuff your pet?

Would you stuff your pet? If so, where would you keep Stuffie? Would Stuffie move into the old people’s home with you? Who would inherit Stuffie when you die?

People who walk around with vacant looks on their faces – do they have a moral responsibility to place a more intelligent expression on their faces for their companions and strangers passing by?

If two women approach a closed door, who holds the door open? Or Do they take it turn about? What is the etiquette?

Why are cars always called “she”? Why are boats christened “and may Big Whatever bless all who sail in HER? Why female gender?

Who decided Australia is “down under” and not “up above”?

Important stuff, people, important stuff…

who is a cranky Flamingo Dancer?

Moi.

I have been battling with this damn respiratory infection for almost six weeks now and while the coughing is finally abating, I am still deaf in my left ear.

Monday I went to a country doctor who said there was a build up of wax and instructed the nurse to irrigate my ears. which she did with gusto, before jettisoning me out of the surgery even though I said I still couldn’t hear.

Miffed I drove into the city after school for a consultation with my city doctor sure she would have a solution. Oh yes, she said there is a build up of fluid in both ears… just keep doing what you have been doing and it may take A COUPLE OF WEEKS to clear.

Excuse me? A couple of weeks.

Did I mention that I am a teacher? I need to be able to hear clearly.

“Oh steam up the bathroom when you are having a shower and continue taking the antihistamines, if you want… bye”

Pay at the desk.

Tuesday

a pinch and a poke and a punch, punch punch

I was deep within a very happy dream – I was at a party for someone who seemed to look like George Bush SENIOR (in the news this week with his bald pate) – when suddenly someone started punching me. Around about the third hit I woke up and realised it was happening for real!

It was Mr FD! Mr FD was punching me in the forehead in his sleep! Luckily it was kind of side on as he was lying on his back and so not able to punch with his full strength.

“Mr FD! Mr FD! Stop! You’re punching me!” I yelled.

He was full of apology when he realised what he had done. In his dream he had been told to wait his moment and then to attack, and so he did just that, attack. Except it was me!

So in a crazy way, his dream and my dream merged. Do you think we have been married too long?

Should I order a safety helmet?

 

[Mr FD is booked to go to a sleep clinic shortly]

Saturday, Saturday…

 

This guy was breakfasting in our garden this morning. I noticed a couple of the trees are starting their spring bloom even though it is another month until spring. I guess I am not the only one looking forward to the end of winter.

I drove to the city and visited with Petite Fille and her parents today. I had been banned from crossing the threshold these past five weeks in case I brought my plague with me. In the meantime, my precious grand daughter has grown so big – she is five months old now.

Not only has she had her first solids – an array of colourful vegetables, this week orange beetroot will be added – but she now rolls like a pro, does a mighty rendition of a push-up trying to crawl and is not far off sitting up solo. She also sings and talks in her baby talk (and still says ‘hello’).

I thought she might be wary of me, because six weeks absence is a large chunk of her little life, and she was a little shy for the first few minutes, but I just took it slowly and by the end of the visit we were back to playing together. We also learnt to waltz about the living room as Grandma murdered “The Tennessee Waltz” which my mother used to sing to us! Well, I did the waltzing and Petite Fille did the tolerating.

Time and grandchildren wait for no woman it seems. And you know, the little things in life, such a grandchildren, really are the best.

Wishin’ and hopin’ and thinkin’ and prayin’

The selfish things I wish for most often (in no particular order):

That I didn’t have to work to survive.

That I had more energy

That my Dad was still here and my Mum didn’t have dementia

That I had a healthy immune system

That I had married rich (sort of goes with the having to work to eat and have a roof over my head)

That I could put Tony Abbott, Julie Bishop and Christopher Pyne (politicians) in a leaky boat and head it and them into a cyclone

That my children and now grandchild didn’t have to experience pain of body or soul

That the world recognized my greatness

what a lady does

Driving to work I really, really, wanted to give a bully driver the finger. I had to remember that two wrongs don’t make a right, and think about Petit Fille to control my natural instincts. I was wearing pearls as well, and a woman wearing pearls never raises the finger.

As we all know, she renders punishment with a stick. I used the white light to send bad karma his way too. No one bullies the Flamingo Dancer.

Mr FD is recovering well, thank you very much. However, he has to have some magical substance injected into his knee in 6 weeks time. All in the effort to ward off a knee replacement as long as possible because knee replacements don’t last, and having the knee operation at an advanced age is not a good thing, so delaying the first one as long as possible is the goal. We have told the doctor that we agree but we don’t want Mr FD hobbling around on a $20,000 knee that still doesn’t work.

Now, onto more important issues – ME! Still coughing and nose blowing, and deaf in my left ear. Today Minerva asked me if she was standing on my “good side” and I had to ask her whether she meant for hearing, or seeing, as I am blind on my right side, and momentarily deaf on my left. Do you want me to listen or look?

When to a great professional development day yesterday. How often do you hear someone say that? The usual experience is that professional development is a waste of time and we all sit there thinking about the things left undone back at the office. However this day was different.

It was a day for teacher librarians. The first key note speaker was TL at an exclusive Melbourne girls’ school and she spoke of the need for TL’s to take up leadership positions in schools and to maintain our path to strong goals. A little easier to do when you are teaching at one of the richest per capita areas in Australia and also teaching all girls. We who have lower socio economic areas of indigenous and special needs students have a different road to walk, but there was a lot I was able to take away from her presentation.

The second key note speaker was Anita Heiss, and indigenous writer who discussed indigenous writing which is a central part of our English curriculum now. She has a great sense of humour and came across as a warm and giving person. I asked her for suggestions on how to motivate my reluctant boys who see no need to read as they are going to be football stars. I always tell them they have to be able to read their contracts. Anita suggested I also add “how are you going to read about yourself in the paper?” That might actually motivate them as they are all after their fifteen minutes of fame these days!

As well, the food was great. Lots of Flamingo Dancer friendly food. And I stood out in the crowd where everyone was wearing black or black and red. I was wearing blue and green with something in between. Oh, and the pearls.  So, not a bad day away from the office at all.

note to self: always pack the stick

Mr FD had waited for me in the hotel lobby as I took our luggage down to the car in the car park below. I had shared the elevator with a woman a little older than I and we had exchanged a brief conversation.

She walked past Mr FD who turned to me and said,

“I can’t believe you spoke to that woman.”
“Why,” I asked.
“Didn’t you read the name tag around her neck?”
“No.” Silly me I had looked at the elevator floor sign and missed my reading opportunity.
“She is attending the LNP convention!”

LNP – liberal national political party, currently in power in our state government and the holders of beliefs completely opposite of my own.

And I had discussed the weather with her! And to think I hadn’t packed the stick. There wouldn’t have been any waiting for the last day for that sticking.

there is a rule for that

 

One last word on THE HOTEL. To be honest, it turned out to be very convenient and rather comfortable, even if the shower was too small and the shower head shot the water up the wall above my head. The receptionist was also rather indifferent and not particularly welcoming. All staff we sighted were Asian and I really do think they have a different concept of customer service than what Australians are used too.

However, unlike most hotels that offer services everywhere one turns, this one had rules everywhere and for everything. There was also a dollar value on many misdemeanours as well. To use the tennis court (luckily Mr FD declined its usage) a guest was expected to pay a $100 deposit. There was no mention if this was refundable!

It was such a schoolmistress mentality that it became a running joke between Mr FD and I.

“Do you want a cup of tea?”
“There is probably a rule for how many times the kettle can be used.”
“And it will cost $100!”

Just to prove my point: